in and around my head

in and around my head are thoughts i’d like to forget, drift off to a far off place where i could lay my head and not have to think so much. this brain of mine sometimes seem to process more than it should. processing masses of information that seems to be pointless and yet neglecting that which is of really significance. i find myself being extremely vague in terms of what i say, regarding the thoughts in my head, fear that i too will be judged for conceiving such devious schemes. yet well i know that they are not mine to own. i turn away, choosing to ignore them and hope, yes hope that there is some other way. hope is a beautiful thing. a concept of how things can always be better, despite the mess you may find yourself in. things done wrong, people hurt. hope that there may be reconciliation made, restitution brought, able to return to a state, not of utopia, not of former glory and fame, but of acknowledging that there has been an assassination attempt on the life of this relationship. not to deny that there was wrong, but embrace it and choose to evaluate it and learn from it. to agree that yes, we are unpolished conglomerate stones comprised of experiences both good and non. to strive to becoming the ultimate “me”. not to just be contempt with the mediocre standard that is so commonly accepted. be, i wanna be. not just be known for doing. i find great fulfilment in doing but to learn to just be. that is an achievement, i’d like to see. not when i’m fragile and this body of mine expiring, but while i still have the best still ahead. not to despise the here and now. but to live. this life is intended for abundance, not of poverty, lack or need. yet still, life itself is valuable. people treat the news of a passing so lightly, unless it is you that this passing shakes the foundations of. good? what good is out there? all i see portrayed on the silver screen is filled with hate and greed. good is this ideal that seems to be elusive. selfishness: it has its grasp around the throats of this generation, we are brought up not being corrected, believing that it is all about me, myself and what i can gain. no! this must stop. i shall be a blessing. i will not be a blackhole, consuming all that comes my way, but i’ll be a vessel in which this blessing that i’ve received will be transferred to the people of this world. and i don’t want to be selfish and limit it to the members of my social group, or to my colleagues, or my “racial” group, or my nation, my continent, the young or the old, or those in between. may this blessing that i’ve received, be passed on to every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues. this is the cry of my wounded heart. selflessness: this is the centre of true love: seeking the highest possible good for someone else, even at a cost to you.

now may you, prove to this generation and the ones to come that good is not just an ideal and that we can make a difference in lives, and be a blessing selflessly.